It’s fall, y’all! Time for hot lattes, jazz instrumentals, and pumpkin-spiced everything. Sweater weather is here, things are slowing down, and it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

As soon as autumn arrives, ’tis the season to get reading! I’ve already started scouring local bookstores, and collecting a sizable stack of readable goodies. This year, I was intuitively drawn to The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. In my early twenties, I decided to give this metaphysical marvel a miss. At the time, I didn’t appreciate the author’s “cocky tone.” (No European white man was going to tell me what to do!) In truth, I wasn’t quite ready for what he had to say. Being present, abandoning my ego, and accepting life as it is?! Nah, that felt too much like doing the right thing.

Now, over a decade later, I feel more aligned with these simple truths. Time and experience have tempered my resistance to what is here and now. As 2024 draws to a close, I know many of us are reflecting on the year we’ve had. Life has definitely been life-ing, leaving us tempered, more aware of ourselves and the world we’ve co-created. With the holidays around the corner, I can think of no better time to find our way back to presence.

The Most “Wonderful” Time of the Year

For a lot of folks, the holidays are a time of gathering, merry-making, and feasting. For others, it’s a somber time; a time of anxiety, stress, loneliness, and grief. I know how it is. I see it in myself, my clients, and my loved ones, year after year. The chill of early fall fills us with shivers of excitement and faint whispers of dread. Without a doubt, this season of celebration is an all out trigger-fest. Our nervous systems are constantly activated by family drama, childhood trauma, overeating, and overspending. Nevertheless, we smile and cozy up to the same people whose issues landed us in therapy in the first place. The emotional effects are palpable, visceral, as we try desperately to keep it together.

Presence, A Gift for the Holidays

If I could give everyone I know a gift this holiday, it would be presence. Presence is the process of simply being in the moment, accepting yourself and your circumstances as they already are. Think mindfulness, radical acceptance, and inner child healing rolled into one.

Being present is a conscious choice to recognize yourself as life; not just “living” it, but being it, right now. You’re choosing to witness yourself and your current situation with compassion, rather than judging them as “not good enough.” Presence pulls our minds into the here and now. It is a powerful tool for releasing the “future” thinking that causes anxiety, and the “past” thinking that often leads to depression.

Welcoming Yourself Home

When things get hectic this holiday season, I invite you to lean into presence. No matter where you are or what you’re experiencing, you can choose to return to yourself in the now. That probably sounds like sweet potato pie-in-the-sky coming from a therapist, but I promise it’s worth a shot. Whenever it feels easier to avoid the present moment, give full attention to your inner experience instead. All you need is 15 minutes.

How to Return to Presence:

1. Go to a quiet and private space. A bedroom, the bathroom, or your car, if you aren’t at home.
   
   
2. Place your phone on silent and put it face down. You may choose to play some quiet, meditative music if you prefer.
   
   
3. Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes. Fill and empty your lungs completely each time. Unclench your jaw. Unfurrow your brows. Relax all the muscles in your body, one by one.
   
   
4. Gently bring your attention into your body. Focus your attention on the center of your chest, your stomach, or areas of discomfort. It sometimes helps to place your hands where you want to place your attention. Keep the attention focused in your body and breathe.
   
   
5. Ask yourself, “Which part of me wants to talk today?” Be still, breathe, see what comes up.
   
   
6. Be open to whatever comes into your awareness. It might be an emotion or a physical sensation. It may feel like pain, tension, anxiety, sadness, or exhaustion. Breathe deep and witness what’s there.
   
   
7. Ask yourself, “What exactly does this feeling want me to know?” Be open and curious to whatever comes up, breathing deeply. Witness it without judgment.
   
   
8. Respond to yourself with compassion. Ask your inner self, “What do I need most right now?” Be open to whatever your inner self is craving. You may need rest, self-expression, a hot shower, alone time, or kind, gentle words. Consider how you can give yourself what you need in the here and now.
   
   
9. End your practice with loving kindness. Your feelings will become less intense as you attend to them. You can slowly open your eyes. You may choose to end your practice by saying something sweet like, “It’s okay for me to feel this way. I wrap myself in a BIG, loving hug!”
   
   
10. Jot down anything that stood out to you during your practice. If nothing came up, that’s okay too. Know that your presence, simply being with yourself as a compassionate witness, was more than enough. ❤

November 3, 2024 by Kimoré Reid, Ed.S, LPC, CPCS

Kimoré is a licensed counselor & writer. Her work is dedicated to the healing & liberation of Black, Afro-Caribbean, & African Women, & Queer Women of Color. Interested in working with Kimoré? CLICK HERE!